Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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