Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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