he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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