so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Randomize
