Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We got so high we made milksteak
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
