vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
