Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
