Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
