Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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