You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
