Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
