I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
