you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
