took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
