Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
