i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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