That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
