If that was your dad, he is hot
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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