i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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