using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
