youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
