DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
