What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
