I CAN MOONWALK!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
