wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
