Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
