I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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