Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
