Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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