He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
