He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
farters have to be the big spoon...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
