Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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