Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
