its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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