Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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