Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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