Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
