I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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