so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
