i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
