Duck Duck Cougar?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
