Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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