He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
