butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
