All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
