but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
