see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So much rum. So many feels.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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