he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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