ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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