didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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