just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
